Down in a minute
Often, when I talk with my mates
I find myself saying how things have changed,
how we've all grown up etc, repeating
these cliches like controversial refereeing
decisions on Match of the Day.
Yet, day to day
I still get the urge to tap people on the shoulder
and look away.
I still put my hand over my mouth and giggle when
I hear silly genitalia names.
I watch as much football as I ever did and
when I'm back at home visiting my parents,
sat in my old bedroom, and
Mum calls me down for dinner I'm like
'ahhhh MUM, I'LL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE!'
Recently I was walking home from work;
Tie and a shirt, trousers and shoes.
Some young boys were playing
football in the street;
full kit, replica tops, shirts,
socks and astro boots.
They must have been about 10.
I must have been about 30.
One of the kids has over hit the ball and
it's rolled over towards me and
Time. Has. Slowed. Down.
Out of nowhere I can hear a crowd.
Some cockney sounding coach,
all red faced blood vessels nursting in his neck,
Chelsea tattoos and a pink Ralph
spit coming out of his mouth as he
'KEEP IT SIMPLE KEEP IT SIMPLE!!'
I take a breath.
I tell msyelf;
'Don't try and be flash,'
'just trap it,'
'get it under control and'
'play it back.'
Just before the ball reaches my feet,
another voice, deep inside
the isolation unit of my mind jumps
up and screams out;
'THIS IS YOUR CHANCE'
'YOU'VE GOTTA TAKE IT!!'
Someone in-between thinking about
those two opposing views,
I've stuck my right leg out and
my right leg is confused,
unsure what to do.
The ball hits the outside of my
black leather lace up shoe,
taking all the power out and meekly
trickling behind me like water
drops dribbling out of a
tap in a drought and
rolling into the road,
like my very own You've
Been Framed Video.
'Shit, I've fucked it' as
I slap my forehead.
Just to rub salt into my wounds,
I look up,
and the kids in the replica kits are laughing,
wolf whistling and making wanker signs at me.
I put my hands up and say;
'I'm sorry, I just aint got it anymore.'
When I walked away,
feeling ashamed, I stopped and realized,
I never even had it in the first place.
It's just a saying,
that's too easy to say and
I say it to much,
like 'things have changed.'
are most definitely,